CRAZY OFFER: Tottenham has made an offer for Kylian Mbappe…..
At times, Bat Country provides the most succulent bites at the ideal moment. Due to Tottenham’s early departure for Thailand for its second preseason friendly, the weekend has been quiet. Oh sure, we had a dumb BILD reporter who was giving Ange Postecoglou a hard time at a press conference by holding up a Bayern uniform with KANE 9 on it, but that was so dumb that I chose not to give it any credit here.
See, there are guidelines on this page. And those expectations are to limit your shitposting to the truly ridiculous things. Hence, on a lazy Saturday, I’ve chosen to write about something much more foolish than canceling the license of a German comedian: According to the Spanish publication MARCA, Tottenham Hotspur has made
Thus, let us first clear this up: Spurs fans will not be seeing Kylian Mbappe play for them. The report states that in addition to Chelsea, Manchester United, and an unidentified Saudi Arabian club, Spurs has made an offer for the PSG attacker. You have to take a chance, I suppose. Not at all? Torpedoes be damned, Harry Kane is probably departing this summer!
The “only” issue (which is really just one of many, many issues—let’s ignore the other issues for the time being—is that, according to MARCA, Mbappe is dead set on moving to Real Madrid. This includes the video from a few years ago in which he told Tom Holland there was no way in hell he would ever come to Spurs. That’s an issue for PSG because, after spent £90 million to get Jude Bellingham a few weeks ago, Madrid most likely won’t have the money to sign Mbappe until next summer. This suggests that Mbappe may be locked at PSG unless he decides to go elsewhere and PSG accepts a bid.
In my opinion, Spurs supporters are due something by now from the cosmos. There’s a karmic imbalance that began decades ago and has persisted through the years, starting with Lasagna-gate, getting “Willian’d” by Chelsea, that bullshit handball on Sissoko in the Champions League final, and the complete failures of both lock-down guarantees to win something while managing Tottenham, Jose Mourinho and Antonio Conte. We’ve more than paid our fair share. Somehow, “spursy” is still around, and it’s awful.
I say it’s about time the universe made some amends.
Give Harry Kane a loaf of baguette and ship him and a gift basket (possibly containing Pierre Hojbjerg) to Paris. Get Big Ange to give Kylian a call and put the hard sell on. Tell him he’s going to be the Man (because he absolutely would be the Man). Whatever you do don’t let him go to Chelsea and that snake Pochettino without throwing your haymaker.
